You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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