He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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