I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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