What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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