Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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