I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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