Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Vodka?
Forever.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
