Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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