I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
BRING THE BAGELS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
