How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
