Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
