My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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