remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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