There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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