beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
