I faked an abortion last night.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
