'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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