filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
