so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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