I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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