omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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