Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize