I am puke
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
