i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
