What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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