i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
