I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
