What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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