we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
