he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
bring money and cleavage
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
