if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
