I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
