she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
