Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
