You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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