the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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