Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
