They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
