You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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