Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is Oprah even human
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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