OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
