His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
