Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm like, not good at living.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
