you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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