Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
