forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.