Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?