If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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