So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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