If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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