how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
