it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
