it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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