My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
