You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
