hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
