what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
